And As Baseball Season Begins Again...

So does my blog. With a basketball article of course (Me in regular face, DJ Gallo in italics):

Miami and the seven deadly sins

4. Being soft
The problem: Again, losing is not a great sin. But fans respect players who at least lose with toughness. Flopping is probably a bigger barricade to soccer's growth in the U.S. than anything else. Americans don't want our traditional sports flop-icized.

That's maybe the worst reason I've heard for soccer not being popular in America. I do not know ANYONE who thinks flopping is the problem. It's so absurd considering the amount of cheating fans will generally put up with.

6. Getting fat
The problem: Professional athletes are essentially paid millions of dollars to be in shape. So when an athlete has a bigger gut than the average working schlub, it bothers people.
The Heat: The Heat have many problems, but physical fitness (currently) isn't one. But don't forget that last year Wade showed up for the season with more than a few extra pounds, leading team president Pat Riley to criticize his physical fitness. And considering that the Heat are already crying after regular-season games, we're another loss or two away from them staying in bed for a week and eating cartons of Haagen-Dazs while watching "Sex And The City" DVDs.

Where to start? Number one: this is about the sins of the Heat. And you list one you admit they aren't committing. Be honest DJ, you just couldn't come up with 7. Number two: the whole 90's Married with Children "All women eat bon-bons and watch Oprah" jokes...kinda hackey at this point. Maybe that's just me. That episode with Sam Kinison was great though, gotta admit it.

7. Hitting people in the crotch
The problem: Forget sports, it's a code of life itself: Never, under any circumstances, is it OK to hit someone in the crotch. Those who have done it on the basketball court -- Reggie Evans, Chris Paul, Kevin Garnett, unfortunately the list goes on -- will never live it down. Nor should they.
The Heat: To my knowledge, the Heat have yet to be reduced to the realm of crotch-punchers. At least literally.

Wow. DJ obviously only got to 5 and then just went fishing for two more just to fill out the quota. Kinda sad.

But Heat fans and anyone who bet on Miami to win the NBA title have to feel like they've received a direct shot to the unmentionables.

Kinda like how I feel after reading this half-assed article.

Case Closed.