So me and Bob Kravitz were having dinner the other night at Five Guys. I had just dripped Ketchup (or catsup if you prefer) onto my 20 dollar fleece pullover when Ol' Bob looked up from his cup of fries and said, "I'm going to write an article that is completely unprovable one way or the other, then I'm just going to abruptly end it. That'll screw with people's minds." As I was wiping the ketchup off I asked Bob, "How does make for a good article?" Bob looked confused, stared at me blankly and we finished our meals in silence. Then he wrote this (as usual his words in italics):
Colts' resilience is second to none
In the wee hours after the Colts' 427th come-from-behind victory, this one over Jacksonville, something strange occurred to me: During my 10 years following this team, I've written roughly a million-and-a-half words that have never seen the light of day.
And yet this article does, can't catch'em all I guess.
I should have saved them all and compiled them into a two-volume set called "Half-Written Columns That Got Deleted Because the Colts Came Back in the Fourth Quarter."
I'm going to go out on a limb and say I would not have bought that.
See, when you're on deadline during a night game, you've got to write as the game goes along, and if the Colts are losing through three quarters, you've generally written 550 words to reflect that fact.
That is, until they start doing things that nobody in football history has done before. We're not talking run-of-the-mill comebacks. We're talking epic, history-making, did-I-just-see-that kinds of comebacks.
"So why don't you just write with the assumption they're going to come back?"
Because the first time I do that, they'll flat-out lose and I'll have a blank screen five minutes before deadline, that's why.
Alright, you should never ask a pretend question in your own column, it's just hacky, like using voice over.
"So you should never ask pretend questions in your columns Jasu?"
Nope Timmy, never.
I spend a decade in Denver watching John Elway perform minor miracles, but those Broncos, two-time Super Bowl champions, paled in comparison to these guys -- at least in the comeback department.
Nice, completely unprovable. I mean I can't even tell in what way they pale in comparison. Did the Broncos not have as many comebacks? Did they not have any that were as big? How can you just write that without anything to back it up?
The comeback against New England in the 2006 AFC Championship Game clearly ranks as the most important. But for my money, the unlikeliest, the one that had me ready to throw my computer out of the press box, was the 2003 return from the dead in Tampa.
Honestly I looked all over the page to find a link to page two of the article because I assumed that could not be the end. I mean Bob didn't even explain what happened in Tampa and it was over 6 years ago. Just an oblique reference to some game you have to look up manually to find any info about. If you're wondering, the Colts came back from a 35-14 deficit.
Well I guess three examples and knocking the Denver Broncos efforts is going to have to do as far as proving the thesis that the Colts resilience is second to none.
Case Closed!
Friday, January 1, 2010
Good Article Part I
So this article by Rob Neyer is a succinct argument for Tim Raines to get into the Hall Of Fame. You can read it here. It's pretty heavy on the counting stats, but if you're going to try and convince the old curmudgeons that vote for the Hall that's what you have to go with. Anyway, obviously I agree with him and that's why I've pointed the article out, but it is still well-written and strongly argued.
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Pearlman before swine
I don't know what that title means really other than to reference the author of today's featured column: Jeff Pearlman. Lets take a look at this precocious youngster's article on SI.com with his writing in italics and my obnoxious comments in regular type set.
Yes, Jason Bay is going to be big in New York -- a big bust, that is
The statement came 28 years ago.
In the winter of 1981-82, the New York Mets were Big Apple nobodies -- a star-less, charisma-less franchise coming off of a miserable 41-62 strike-shortened season. The team had drawn 704,244 fans, seventh in the National League (and not even half the total of the cross-town Yankees), and its marketing exclamation, "The magic is back!" rang hollow. Unless Joel Youngblood and Pete Falcone possessed some sort of secret, Houdini-esque abilities, the magic was not back. It was, in fact, dead.
This article is about Jason Bay
With this as a backdrop, Frank Cashen, the team's general manager, pulled off a headline-stealing deal. In exchange for three middling players, Cashen landed slugging outfielder George Foster from the Cincinnati Reds, immediately signing him to a five-year, $10 million contract.
This article is about Jason Bay.
Did Cashen think the former National League MVP was the missing piece that New York needed to turn itself into a winner? Hardly. While the Mets offense was nothing to brag about, it was the club's rotten starting rotation and lowly middle infield that required the most attention. "But signing George was a message to baseball and to our fans that we were in it to win," Cashen said. "From here on out, we would do whatever it takes."
This article is about Jason Bay.
The outcome: Foster hit 13 home runs in his first season in New York. He played an abysmal left field, was booed mercilessly, shunned in his own clubhouse and -- even as he went on to spend 3½ more decent seasons with the Mets -- labeled one of the biggest busts in the team's history. By the time the team won the 1986 World Series, he was out of baseball.
Why? Because George Foster was a bad fit.
* * *
As we approach 2010, New York Mets history is about to repeat itself. According to WFAN, the team has agreed to sign Jason Bay to a four-year contract worth nearly $66 million.
Ohhh yeah, that guy.
Like Foster 28 years back, Bay is in his early 30s.
It's a little nit-picky but when they signed Foster, he was in decline already and 33. Bay put up one of his better seasons last year and is 31. I'd say in sports there's a large difference between 31 and 33.
Like Foster 28 years back, Bay will play left field and bat in the middle of the order. Like Foster 28 years back, Bay will arrive in Queens accompanied by enough hype and hope to fill three stadiums.
Like Foster 28 years back, this will not go well.
K so outside of some coincidences that have nothing to do with actual ability I see no evidence as to why Foster's failure predicts Bay's future.
Jason Bay is a good ballplayer. A fine ballplayer. Heck, an excellent ballplayer. With Boston last year, residing in cozy Fenway Park, the 31-year-old All-Star hit 36 home runs with 119 RBIs, thus making him the pulse of an otherwise aging Red Sox lineup. He has cleared 30 home runs in four of his last five seasons. Bay also happens to be one of the game's truly good guys -- likeable, agreeable, approachable, laid-back. The complete package.
Yet for all the positives Bay brings to an organization, he lacks the one tool that the Mets truly need -- an ability to move walls.
When New York's brain-dead powers-that-be decided that Citi Field should feature spacious outfield grass and power alleys from here to Hagåtña, they unintentionally dictated the type of team that GM Omar Manaya is required to assemble. Namely, the modern-day Mets must replicate the '85 Cardinals, who were constructed around speed and pitching; around doubles and triples into the gaps; around shutouts and 2-1 wins.
Park factor: 98 slight pitcher's park. We must abandon the home run. Thanks to baseballreference.com for that number.
Sluggers? What sluggers? Playing in Shea Stadium in 2008, David Wright was a power monster, producing 33 homers and 124 RBIs. Playing in Citi Field in 2009, Wright was, well, George Foster circa 1982, with a paltry 10 homers and 72 RBIs. Or, to put it more bluntly, the Mets' leading home run hitter last season was Daniel Murphy -- with 12.
Jeff is right here. Of course he doesn't mention that Wright suffered a concussion but continued to play. Then he was diagnosed with post-concussion syndrome and put on the DL. And seriously, lay off George Foster, did he run over Jeff's dog or something?
If Bay has an absolutely outstanding 2010, he might hit 25 homers. He might.
I love statements that require absolutely nothing to back them up. If Bay has an absolutely outstanding 2010 he might cure cancer. He might.
Seriously, I make declarative statements like that all the time when I'm arguing...in a bar...with my friends...and we're on round 4 or 5.
In their new digs, the Mets also require arms. Lots and lots of arms. They require starters who can hold a game close -- guys like John Lackey; guys like Javier Vazquez; guys... whom the Mets completely ignored as others pounced.
Yeah pitching helps usually.
No doubt those Met fans who had been waiting for their team to make a statement will be pleased. Bay, like Foster, is a big name with big power and big skills.
He will also be a big bust.
Case Closed!
Yes, Jason Bay is going to be big in New York -- a big bust, that is
The statement came 28 years ago.
In the winter of 1981-82, the New York Mets were Big Apple nobodies -- a star-less, charisma-less franchise coming off of a miserable 41-62 strike-shortened season. The team had drawn 704,244 fans, seventh in the National League (and not even half the total of the cross-town Yankees), and its marketing exclamation, "The magic is back!" rang hollow. Unless Joel Youngblood and Pete Falcone possessed some sort of secret, Houdini-esque abilities, the magic was not back. It was, in fact, dead.
This article is about Jason Bay
With this as a backdrop, Frank Cashen, the team's general manager, pulled off a headline-stealing deal. In exchange for three middling players, Cashen landed slugging outfielder George Foster from the Cincinnati Reds, immediately signing him to a five-year, $10 million contract.
This article is about Jason Bay.
Did Cashen think the former National League MVP was the missing piece that New York needed to turn itself into a winner? Hardly. While the Mets offense was nothing to brag about, it was the club's rotten starting rotation and lowly middle infield that required the most attention. "But signing George was a message to baseball and to our fans that we were in it to win," Cashen said. "From here on out, we would do whatever it takes."
This article is about Jason Bay.
The outcome: Foster hit 13 home runs in his first season in New York. He played an abysmal left field, was booed mercilessly, shunned in his own clubhouse and -- even as he went on to spend 3½ more decent seasons with the Mets -- labeled one of the biggest busts in the team's history. By the time the team won the 1986 World Series, he was out of baseball.
Why? Because George Foster was a bad fit.
This article...well at least I've learned a lot about George Foster. Looking at his stats he displayed a gradual decline from age 33 on which is pretty normal. The Mets obviously overpaid for a player who was leaving his prime. According to Pearlman he was out of baseball by '86 because "he was a bad fit." Now Foster did actually play for the Mets in '86. According to his Wikipedia entry he was released by the Mets after accusing them of racism for benching him. I guess accusing the organization of racism does make you a "bad fit." (Heck of an MVP season in '77 though with a 165 OPS+.)
So I mean not a bad article about George Foster, we've learned something and...oh yeah...there's some other player that was supposed to be mentioned...who was that again?
* * *
As we approach 2010, New York Mets history is about to repeat itself. According to WFAN, the team has agreed to sign Jason Bay to a four-year contract worth nearly $66 million.
Ohhh yeah, that guy.
Like Foster 28 years back, Bay is in his early 30s.
It's a little nit-picky but when they signed Foster, he was in decline already and 33. Bay put up one of his better seasons last year and is 31. I'd say in sports there's a large difference between 31 and 33.
Like Foster 28 years back, Bay will play left field and bat in the middle of the order. Like Foster 28 years back, Bay will arrive in Queens accompanied by enough hype and hope to fill three stadiums.
Like Foster 28 years back, this will not go well.
K so outside of some coincidences that have nothing to do with actual ability I see no evidence as to why Foster's failure predicts Bay's future.
Jason Bay is a good ballplayer. A fine ballplayer. Heck, an excellent ballplayer. With Boston last year, residing in cozy Fenway Park, the 31-year-old All-Star hit 36 home runs with 119 RBIs, thus making him the pulse of an otherwise aging Red Sox lineup. He has cleared 30 home runs in four of his last five seasons. Bay also happens to be one of the game's truly good guys -- likeable, agreeable, approachable, laid-back. The complete package.
Wow sounds like a really good signing. I guess that proves the theme of this article that...hey wait a minute....
Yet for all the positives Bay brings to an organization, he lacks the one tool that the Mets truly need -- an ability to move walls.
Damn straight. I remember when the Cubs signed Andre Dawson and his bulldozer to a long-term deal. Or when the Dodgers traded for Manny Ramirez and a crane.
When New York's brain-dead powers-that-be decided that Citi Field should feature spacious outfield grass and power alleys from here to Hagåtña, they unintentionally dictated the type of team that GM Omar Manaya is required to assemble. Namely, the modern-day Mets must replicate the '85 Cardinals, who were constructed around speed and pitching; around doubles and triples into the gaps; around shutouts and 2-1 wins.
Park factor: 98 slight pitcher's park. We must abandon the home run. Thanks to baseballreference.com for that number.
Sluggers? What sluggers? Playing in Shea Stadium in 2008, David Wright was a power monster, producing 33 homers and 124 RBIs. Playing in Citi Field in 2009, Wright was, well, George Foster circa 1982, with a paltry 10 homers and 72 RBIs. Or, to put it more bluntly, the Mets' leading home run hitter last season was Daniel Murphy -- with 12.
Jeff is right here. Of course he doesn't mention that Wright suffered a concussion but continued to play. Then he was diagnosed with post-concussion syndrome and put on the DL. And seriously, lay off George Foster, did he run over Jeff's dog or something?
If Bay has an absolutely outstanding 2010, he might hit 25 homers. He might.
I love statements that require absolutely nothing to back them up. If Bay has an absolutely outstanding 2010 he might cure cancer. He might.
Seriously, I make declarative statements like that all the time when I'm arguing...in a bar...with my friends...and we're on round 4 or 5.
In their new digs, the Mets also require arms. Lots and lots of arms. They require starters who can hold a game close -- guys like John Lackey; guys like Javier Vazquez; guys... whom the Mets completely ignored as others pounced.
Yeah pitching helps usually.
No doubt those Met fans who had been waiting for their team to make a statement will be pleased. Bay, like Foster, is a big name with big power and big skills.
He will also be a big bust.
Case Closed!
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
The one where Bret Hart comes back
So next Monday Bret Hart will be the GM of raw beginning what Dave Meltzer at wrestlingobserver.com says will be a feud to Wrestlemania (Wrestlemania of course being a rip off of the title of my blog). Bret's return is the reason I'll be watching Raw this Monday for the first time in 2 months, maybe more. When I got into wrestling Bret was my favorite, even when they did the whole boyhood dream angle leading to the iron man match and I was supposed to root for Shawn I stuck behind The Hitman.
Now the question is how will it all turn out? Will the angle be engaging? Will Bret be able to work with today's crowds? Do people still care? Will this be the proper pay off for a 8+ year build?
I remember when they had one of the Raw anniversary shows or 500 show celebration or whichever one of the hundreds of self congratulatory editions of raw they've had and the WWE advertised a bunch of people including Bret Hart. Of course they screwed us. It was the end of the show, Vince McMahon was laid out in the ring by a Stunner I believe, we hadn't seen the promised Bret Hart yet outside of some clips, and the crowd was frothing chanting "we want Bret" over and over. Then....Cena came out. In hindsight you can argue for them not blowing off the angle in a one shot deal on free T.V., but then why advertise it just to screw over fans who for some reason trusted they would deliver? Now to say I trusted them isn't true, I mean it's Wrestling, bait and switch is the name of the game, but a part of me was pining to see Vince get put in the sharpshooter there. When they didn't deliver, I stopped watching again. Why bring this up? Because again I'm stuck trusting that they will deliver the angle I want of Vince Vs. Bret and not change the whole thing week to week so that he ends up facing a newly rehired Bogeyman. And laugh at that idea, but it can happen, it's pro wrestling.
Here's the thing, the payoff for the angle is Vince in a Sharpshooter at Wrestlemania, preferably with blood running down his face like Austin. It's really simple. Just get us there. That's all the writers have to do, get us to that moment. And god help them if they try to switch things up to swerve us, it'll kill the interest of anyone who is tuning back in to see this.
Also, I'm indifferent to the 10-year-olds who don't remember this or "won't care what's happening" according to Meltzer. This angle isn't for them.
Regarding the whole kids won't get it thing, you have Bret Hart, Vince, and even Shawn in a smaller capacity, involved...you can get the angle over. I really have no doubt Bret will show up on Raw and get people into the angle. Granted, he wasn't God (read: The Rock) on the mic, but he was better than people gave him credit for, which he proved during the Hart Foundation run.
So I guess I'm stucking trusting that the WWE can execute this storyline exellantly. HA! That just came to me, look at that! We can only hope the WWE writers are half as clever.
Case Closed!
Now the question is how will it all turn out? Will the angle be engaging? Will Bret be able to work with today's crowds? Do people still care? Will this be the proper pay off for a 8+ year build?
I remember when they had one of the Raw anniversary shows or 500 show celebration or whichever one of the hundreds of self congratulatory editions of raw they've had and the WWE advertised a bunch of people including Bret Hart. Of course they screwed us. It was the end of the show, Vince McMahon was laid out in the ring by a Stunner I believe, we hadn't seen the promised Bret Hart yet outside of some clips, and the crowd was frothing chanting "we want Bret" over and over. Then....Cena came out. In hindsight you can argue for them not blowing off the angle in a one shot deal on free T.V., but then why advertise it just to screw over fans who for some reason trusted they would deliver? Now to say I trusted them isn't true, I mean it's Wrestling, bait and switch is the name of the game, but a part of me was pining to see Vince get put in the sharpshooter there. When they didn't deliver, I stopped watching again. Why bring this up? Because again I'm stuck trusting that they will deliver the angle I want of Vince Vs. Bret and not change the whole thing week to week so that he ends up facing a newly rehired Bogeyman. And laugh at that idea, but it can happen, it's pro wrestling.
Here's the thing, the payoff for the angle is Vince in a Sharpshooter at Wrestlemania, preferably with blood running down his face like Austin. It's really simple. Just get us there. That's all the writers have to do, get us to that moment. And god help them if they try to switch things up to swerve us, it'll kill the interest of anyone who is tuning back in to see this.
Also, I'm indifferent to the 10-year-olds who don't remember this or "won't care what's happening" according to Meltzer. This angle isn't for them.
Regarding the whole kids won't get it thing, you have Bret Hart, Vince, and even Shawn in a smaller capacity, involved...you can get the angle over. I really have no doubt Bret will show up on Raw and get people into the angle. Granted, he wasn't God (read: The Rock) on the mic, but he was better than people gave him credit for, which he proved during the Hart Foundation run.
So I guess I'm stucking trusting that the WWE can execute this storyline exellantly. HA! That just came to me, look at that! We can only hope the WWE writers are half as clever.
Case Closed!
Monday, December 28, 2009
This post is really unfair
Alright so I know going through a sports columnists archive to rip predictions is probably really unfair and could be done to EVERY single one, but I'm making an exception for Ray Ratto here since I fully believed in this article. I mean I believed every last letter of it and had a mini-celebration in my head. Here it is
Reading this now is pretty much masochism for me. If you were too lazy to click the link I'll explain. The article came out week 4 after the 49ers had trounced the Rams 35-0 and were a 3-1 team two games up in the division with wins over all the other division teams. As Ratto says:
This might be just the Rams game talking, but fact is, the 49ers clinched a playoff berth with their 35-0 victory Sunday.
And I bought it. I mean logically it seemed there was no way they could fail. As Ray points out, the bar for winning the NFC west was so low that the niners could "trip over it."
Last week, the 49ers were officially knocked out of playoff contention, though they were on a respirator for the two weeks prior. Again I point at this article not to make fun of Ratto, but more to make fun of myself. Because as many times as I've learned not to trust sports columnists, I did. And now, I feel like a jackass for it.
BTW the Niners actually beat Arizona twice this year and are now 2-0 this year vs. the defending NFC champions. Can't they get a smaller trophy for that? Or maybe a certificate of participation? Where's the use of the transitive property? If team A beats team B two times in a row and team B is NFC champion, then team A should be the best team in the Conference. There you have it. The Niners are the best team in the NFC. CASE CLOSED!!!!
Reading this now is pretty much masochism for me. If you were too lazy to click the link I'll explain. The article came out week 4 after the 49ers had trounced the Rams 35-0 and were a 3-1 team two games up in the division with wins over all the other division teams. As Ratto says:
This might be just the Rams game talking, but fact is, the 49ers clinched a playoff berth with their 35-0 victory Sunday.
And I bought it. I mean logically it seemed there was no way they could fail. As Ray points out, the bar for winning the NFC west was so low that the niners could "trip over it."
Last week, the 49ers were officially knocked out of playoff contention, though they were on a respirator for the two weeks prior. Again I point at this article not to make fun of Ratto, but more to make fun of myself. Because as many times as I've learned not to trust sports columnists, I did. And now, I feel like a jackass for it.
BTW the Niners actually beat Arizona twice this year and are now 2-0 this year vs. the defending NFC champions. Can't they get a smaller trophy for that? Or maybe a certificate of participation? Where's the use of the transitive property? If team A beats team B two times in a row and team B is NFC champion, then team A should be the best team in the Conference. There you have it. The Niners are the best team in the NFC. CASE CLOSED!!!!
The Barber of Seville
Just creating a blog to force my self to do writing every day. This should be a sports media critic site in the tradition of Firejoemorgan, but I dunno, it'll probably degenerate into me whining about how immigrants are ruining the country for the rest of us, like my grandfather in his last days. Sports covered: The 4 Majors, plus pro-wrestling stuff I rip off of wrestlingobserver.com, (you can go there now!), rarely some MMA stuff. I picked media criticism because sometimes you read an article and you're just like "Wow that could not be more wrong, I don't think this paid writer has any idea what he's talking about!" So now instead of just yelling that at my desk and having my co-workers freak out, I'll type it while biting my knuckles till they bleed. That's much more healthy for me. So yeah. Welcome, though I doubt anyone but me will ever read this.
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