This Isn't the World Series of Poker...

Heck, I didn't even know Norman Chad still wrote for anyone. Unfortunately, he still fancies himself a columnist and presents junk like this:

NFL fantasy football fans have taken over the sport

The National Football League — America's last refuge of undeniable world dominance — began its 91st season Sunday.
(Traditionally, Major League Baseball unofficially opens its season by having the president throw out the first pitch; in the NFL, the new season is unofficially christened when Jay Cutler throws his first interception.)

I'm gonna say 'ouch' for Jay Cutler.

For the uninitiated, here is a brief chronology of the three crucial stages that established the NFL with its fan base:
-- In 1920, the NFL began play. Fans generally rooted for a team when they watched a game.

Still true.

-- In the 1950s, the point spread became prevalent. Some fans now rooted for a team to "cover" the point spread, with money being involved; this is commonly known as "gambling."

Which the NFL can thank for its explosion in popularity.

-- In the 1990s, Fantasy Football took hold. Some fans now didn't root for teams. Rather, they rooted for individual players to score touchdowns or defenses to record sacks, with money being involved; this is not known as "gambling" but it is.

Yeah Chad, people still root for teams. I mean it's 2010. Have we not dispelled this notion that running a fantasy team is in direct conflict with rooting for your favorite team?
Over the last generation, two changes have greatly altered how many fans watch NFL games — instant replay as an officiating tool and fantasy football. What once was a relatively pure and simple viewing experience — relax a little and root for your team — has been largely perverted.

This is completely unprovable on his part. The idea that before instant replay and FF, people apparently didn't care what happened during a game. You'd think he would be thinking these progressions for fueling interest in the sport.

Fans now concentrate on officiating mistakes or individual achievements; in the latter case, whichever team wins is inconsequential.

Yeah I just watched my local NFL team with a group of 15 fans, most of whom have fantasy teams. Trust me, they were extremely concerned with the local team winning. A bit too much if you ask me.
(This would be like going to the opera to see "La Boheme" and not caring if Mimi and Rodolfo can reconcile their lost love before her death because you're so hung up on sound and lighting issues and whether Rodolfo hit a higher note in the third act than Marcello.)

Wow, that is like the worst fantasy league ever.

America may need to rebuild, but it will have to wait until a nation of fantasy freaks is done shouting, "They've GOT TO challenge that!!!"

I don't get what the challenge system has to do with fantasy football. All apologies to fans of the Lions, of course.

Now, frankly, I shouldn't begrudge fantasy fanatics their pleasure. The games are there for our recreation and entertainment; if someone finds more enjoyment by having a financial stake in how various players perform, so be it. And I had made my peace with these people — they stay out of my living room, I stay out of their sports bars — but then I heard about fantasysportsinsurance.com and fantasydispute.com and, well, the uneasy truce was over.

I'm sorry Chad, you're best known as an announcer for what again? Water polo right?

If Tom Brady has a season-ending injury in Week 1, you now are protected. You can buy fantasy insurance online with just a few clicks and a credit card.
(I'm fairly confident many people these days do not carry life insurance but carry fantasy insurance.)
If you think there was an unfair trade in your fantasy league, you now have an avenue to justice. You can settle disputes with your fantasy friends online with just a few clicks and a credit card.
(Remember: Fantasy owners have rights, too!!!)
Incidentally, I'm glad to see lawyers have found another revenue stream; to be honest, I've always thought our nation was under-litigated.

Ha! Lawyer joke!

Of course, the fact that you can now insure your fantasy picks or resolve fantasy disputes raises the age-old question:
Does America have too much wealth? I think that's self-evident. More importantly, does America use its wealth wisely? Well, folks, if we've got enough money to spend $14.95 a pop to have a Yale-trained lawyer arbitrate a fantasy feud, I believe that one's self-evident, too.
(Full disclosure: In regard to misspent wealth and skewed priorities, I must admit that I earn income from commenting on what 22-year-olds wear while playing poker.)

Hey he copped to it finally, nice. Also, he's right, but who am I to begrudge someone a way to sucker people out of their money.

Alas, I wish we could dial the clock back to a time when watching the Jets and Giants lose provided all the weekend pleasure we needed.

That sounds like a horrible, boring time. It's sounds like the kind of time Grandpa Simpson waxes poetic about.

By the way, Jay Cutler threw his first interception with 5:33 to go in the first quarter of the Lions-Bears game. Enjoy the rest of the season!

Case Closed!