How to Properly Overreact

The Minnesota press corp is going to show us all the way. Last night they lost a close game to red hot White Sox (26-5 in last 31) which apparently means it's time to panic. First let's look at an article by Patrick Reusse:

With this rotten outing, Slowey's next start should be in Rochester

Rochester being the farm team of the Twins. Here are Slowey's stats. I dunno if he needs to be sent back down to the minors. As Pat points out, the Red Wings are in last place and have terrible pitching, so there's no one to bring up.

Then there's this one from...oh man...Tom POWERS!?!?! Sweet name Tom.

Twins deserve a new billing: overpaid underachievers

Weird to read, but the Twins do have a payroll close to $100 Mil. Mostly to compensate for the new stadium and to prove they weren't just mooching off the tax payers. The payroll is a bit of a show, some misdirection to justify the public spending.
Anyway...What's the problem with the Twins this year...assuming they have an actual problem:

They should be pressure tested after two straight grueling pennant races. But it seems as if they can't handle being the front-runners. Thus, they labor in third place and continue to fade.

The Twins recent record is nothing to brag about but they still are better than average when it comes to both hitting and pitching. Somehow, I doubt their recent problems are due to "being the front runners." I'm sorry, Joe Mauer is only OPSing .803 (OPS+ 117) because people expected the Twins to be good. He saw an SI poll and started slamming his bat on the ground over and over while screaming "I can't handle the pressure!" It was an awkward scene to say the least.

I can't even remember the last time the Twins were considered flat-out disappointing. It probably was way back before free agency. That's because so little has been expected of them. They have been a feel-good, small-market team that watched its pennies and somehow produced victories. It was as if each playoff experience was an unexpected treat.

I really don't know about this line of logic. I'm pretty sure people have expected big things from them the last 5 years or so. At least picked them to win the division. If they were the Royals, then you have an argument, but the Twins always compete.

That's all changed. With a big payroll pushing $100 million comes big responsibilities. So far, the team has not lived up to those responsibilities. There is a huge difference between trying and getting it done. The Yankees get it done. The Braves get it done. They know they aren't paid to try.

I'm pretty sure they're being paid to try.

I'd also have called up a couple of guys from Triple-A, or Double-A, or a local sandlot, to join the rotation. They couldn't be any worse than Kevin Slowey, Nick Blackburn and Scott Baker.

Based on his ZERO minutes of research into the Twins minor league system, the great Tom Powers hath decreed that the Twin call up "a couple of guys." Anyone, just change something for the sake of change, cause it worked so well for the Yankees in the 80's.

Hey wait he might have actually looked someone up:

Meanwhile, I still don't know why reliever Anthony Slama isn't here. He's been great at Rochester. Throw somebody off the 40-man roster, put Slama on and call him up.
Fortunately for the Twins, they still have time.

First off, I really hope Anthony is from Alabama so we can all call him the Alabama Slama! God that would be sweet. Second this is actually a good idea, this kid (though he's 26 already) is just destroying the minors. See what happens when you do a little research Powers.

They need to make adjustments to their rotation. Even change for the sake of change would be good right now. They need a jolt to their roster. Before it's too late.

Well Sox and Tigers fans, better hope Powers' ideas are taken to heart by the Twins. Maybe they'll start that monkey that co-starred with the dude from "Friends" in the movie "Ed." That would be a change. Maybe they'll hire the kid from Little Big League to really manage. That would be a change. Maybe they can sign the kid from Rookie of the...you get the idea.

Case Closed.